Looking for something to give up for lent - how about negative thinking!

No sooner had dry January finished and all those who had spent the month detoxing, then spent the first week of February getting pissed and playing catch up, we were then hit with Lent.

Lent represents fasting, abstinence and penance for many christians around the world, or an excuse for everyone else to have another crack at the resolutions they ballsed up. So the chubster who couldn't give up chocolate on New Years Eve, come Lent may tell themselves that they stand a better chance this time round as they have the holy spirits approval. They wont of course (unless very devout) but it wont stop many.

I myself, along with two other friends, did a sponsored 90 days of lent a few years ago to raise money for autism, giving up booze, fast food, sweets and chocolate for the entire period and had it not been for charity I, despite being the worlds greatest hypnotherapist, probably would have failed miserably.
I'm not trying to encourage eating crap but psychologically if you deprive yourself of something that you enjoy and in small moderation isn't harmful for you, there's a good chance that you aren't going to be happier and over the long run, evidence suggests not lighter or fitter either unfortunately.
I am also not discouraging people having lifestyle changes, such as becoming teetotal, eating healthier and so on, but that isn't what Lent is about. Lent is about abstinence and we all know the saying 'Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder'. OK, that isn't the saying but there is a lot of truth in it.
The problem is that forty days is more than enough time (so is Januarys 31 days) for habits to develop and if you spend that time telling yourself how much you miss your chocolates, cakes, crisps, booze, fags, nookie* etc. and not consistently focusing on the benefits of doing without them, you are conditioning yourself to love them more when your time's up (* anyone who can abstain from this for forty days isn't doing it right!).

So here is an idea.

Stop whatever you are currently in the process of missing terribly for Lent and give up negative thinking instead?

Now that is habit forming that you will benefit from. Trust me, I have never had a client tell me they miss being a miserable, half empty kind of person and if you give up negative thinking patterns for that length of time, you really aren't going to have a longing to return to your old ways. It is so easy to do as well, I know because I was once a lot more cynical about the world than I am now and I really have no intention of going back to my old, grumpy and unproductive ways.

There are few things more rewarding than freeing a client from negative thinking patterns, it is like handing them a little key to freedom and choice and everyone has the ability to free themselves.

Here's just a few things to take a moment to consider each day, that if you consistently do for forty days, will help you give up negative thinking.

• Find at least one reason every day to be grateful
• Find at least one thing or person to aspire to
• Tell yourself three things that if people knew about you, they would like or admire
• If you are aware that you are talking to yourself in a negative way, tell yourself to STFU!
• Seeing something in a bad light, determine to find a way to reframe it or see it from another point of view or person's perspective.
• Find humour in everything and anything (within reason).
• Do something for someone or something that can't repay you as often as practically possible

Thats it. What are you going to miss by doing that? The only regret or longing you will have is that you will tell yourself that you wish you had done it much sooner, but you can reframe that too into a positive. 

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Feels like Groundhog Day

It has become an expression synonymous with the feeling of repetition and reliving the same thing over and over again, a cliche and catchphrase of modern culture that originates from the 1993 movie starring Bill Murray who is cursed to repeat the same day over and over again until he discovers the meaning of true love.
We see the term used frequently in newspapers and television and although relatively new when used in this context, many of us would have said it to ourselves or at least thought it at some point.
In fact the real meaning of groundhog day (which anyone who has seen the film we be aware of) is that of an annual ritual on 2nd February - where the onset of spring is predicted depending on whether the animal leaves its burrow or not (see HERE for more details if you are interested).

That feeling of mundane repetition and 'here we go again' can for a small number of people develop into an unhealthy habit, which very quickly can, if unchecked become self-perpetuating and slowly permeating into all areas of their life.
It is around this time of year in particular that I hear many people say it and see it manifest itself in the anxiety and poor sleeping patterns of clients. Whether it is facing another year of a job you despise, or the parent getting bored at the sound of their own voice as they try every morning to get their kids ready for school, the thought of being trapped in an unrewarding cycle is another to bring many people down. With the routine well and truly reestablished, resolutions unfulfilled and the thought of another eleven months of the same, the timing of groundhog day can seem very apt for many.
Fortunately it is just habitual thinking and this can be corrected as easily as a physical habit such as nail biting or hair pulling using hypnotherapy and coaching.

When people use the expression 'groundhog day' to describe their life they are actually just describing the meaning they are giving to their life and nothing more. People should realise they have a choice as to how they want to feel in any situation and they also have a number of options in how they respond or resolve negative or repetitive thinking patterns.

I would also go so far to suggest that by making a few small adjustments and reframes to how they see the world and the things they fill their day with, they can correct this destructive way of thinking easily and effortlessly.

Here are my tips and suggestions for changing that 'groundhog' mentality:

• If your life seems to be lacking variety, a keep need in all of us, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT - take up a hobby, sport, exercise regime, anything that adds a different dimension to your weekly timetable.
• Be mindful of unhelpful patterns developing; negative self talk, behaviours that don't seem to work such as screaming at the kids, wallowing, binge eating, the ritualistic large glass of wine in the evening!
• Focus on positives and what you CAN do and do have a CHOICE in, then ask yourself, can the things you feel frustrated about benefit from this same positive focus.
• Change your posture. Be aware of your body language and the body language of others who are feeling defeated by life and monotony - chances are you will notice disempowering body language. If you do - change it - sit up, stand up, big breaths etc.
• Change your environment. Being a housewife or stay at home mum (or househusband or dad) can be incredibly stressful as it seems there is no escape from your job, less variety etc. Plan a number of trips, even short ones to get a change of scenery.
• Exercise gratitude. Whatever your situation, the chances are there will be a person who would willingly swap places with you - people who can't have children, the person who can't find work or has just been made redundant, the lonely person, the cripplingly shy person etc.
• Ask yourself - 'has my life always been like this or is this just a moment in a bigger story?' or 'what would i need to not feel trapped in this negative cycle?'.

There are plenty more ways you can interrupt and correct negative thinking patterns, but the key to understand doing so, is realising that you are often trapping yourself physically and emotionally or the things you are choosing to focus on and the meaning you give them.

If not a few sessions of constructive hypnosis and coaching will show you how.