Half Hearted Hypnosis

I had a call this week from a lovely lady looking to book an appointment and, as I do with all my clients, I asked her if she had any previous experience of hypnosis. She replied that she had and that her previous hypnotherapy sessions had helped in the short term with the issue in which she was now coming to me to resolve once and for all. Naturally I asked what she had remembered about the sessions and the approach the hypnotherapist had used and her response was that the hypnotist had 'just read a script' and then spent some time post hypnosis hypothesising where the clients presenting problem had originated and why it had manifested itself on particular occasions.

Unfortunately both the over reliance on scripts and the need to psychoanalyse clients are two very common traits in many hypnotherapists.
You will see a number of hypnotists upon graduating immediately determine their ability on being able to resolve an issue as relative to their ability to find a script for it, creating a bad habit that unfortunately, many get stuck with (I guess there isn't a script for hypnotist script dependency). 

When starting out, I myself was a little guilty of this, reverting to scripts for comfort because I was neither confident or savvy enough to realise that a reliance on scripts was limiting my development, success and true understanding of the ways and means to use hypnosis effectively.
Fortunately in my training I did have a little exposure to a few OMNI videos and demonstrations of Jerry Kein effortlessly removing fears and resolving emotional issues without a script in sight, so I knew where to go and what to do to improve my own capabilities. I started using regression to cause where applicable and when the opportunity was there, did the full OMNI training.
I am not denouncing the use of scripts altogether. I occasionally will use a script for pure suggestion work, be it as part of a one stop programme or sometimes as back at the end of a very long day when my creative juices aren't flowing so freely and I am worried at going blank (seldom do I use them but I will encourage a student to have one available in those instances in case of an emergency!).
Also on the foundation course, I am happy to provide students with a number of scripts to help kick start their use of patter, but by the time those students find themselves taking a step up to an OMNI course, the discouragement of relying on them will begin.

If a hypnotherapist relies on scripts for everything they will only go so far. The best script is the person sat in front of them and even if you are going to avoid using therapeutic techniques with a client in hypnosis, you are better taking the information they are transmitting to you through words, body language and emotion to construct your own suggestions rather than those downloaded or borrowed from another.

But time and time again, you see hypnotists asking for scripts all of the time across numerous groups on social media as if it is the most normal thing in the world, worryingly about issues that they should already have tools to resolve or quite frankly should know can't be helped by suggestion alone.

I am a traditionalist in many ways (most OMNIgrads feel no need to reinvent the wheel), but give me a competent NLP'er who understands states and listening to client feedback over any hypnotherapist(sic) who thinks progressive relaxation and a script is going to fix the world. Despite believing that the correct use of hypnosis can help with most issues, I am totally on board with the notion that there can be other/additional ways to skin a cat, or help the hypnosis along (be it NLP, coaching methods etc.), but reverting to a script isn't one of them.

An exception to this may be the use of a deliberate scripted set of suggestions that is replicated as a reinforcement recording or a generic patter script for stress management etc.

The other main exception I will make in this instance is when working with Children. Depending on what age the child is, there is a good chance the approach to hypnosis and induction of state will be different and so too will be the way in which we communicate we that child. As parents we know how difficult it can be to communicate with our own children (three kids, NLP and Tony Robbins coaching later and I am still frequently head scratching) so sometimes it is better to defer to someone more experienced in that field of expertise - especially when starting out. A good way to do this while learning the nuances of working with children is through some of the specialised scripts available. People like Lynda Hudson have published books on scripts specifically to be used with children because through experience they have learnt what language patterns work with them and why. As strongly as I discourage a reliance on scripts, I encourage an initial investment in a good children script book until you are comfortable as to what works for you and them. Then develop your own style and if this means no loner using them, so be it.

But I have further concerns regarding the use of scripts and the wider hypnosis community general acceptance of it as the norm - One of those concerns being, that there are some hypnotists who use the same one script for everything. A 'One size fits all' script that, according to them, regardless of the issue, will have most clients skipping out of your office shouting Hallelujah! The only problem is, it is my strong belief that it wont - and I base this belief on the fact that I used it and it didn't. I read it ad verbatim, I set it to memory so I could flow better with it but in the end it really didn't compare to other approaches. It was nice, had nice imagery, it certainly was easy, but in my opinion was nothing more than a stress management recording tool comprised of a few existing imagery techniques. I intend to do some study on content and context free hypnosis over the next few months and if this generic script is anything to go by, I think I am better off sticking to the Ultra height approach I already use.

Another worry is that there are people still selling scripts en-masse, while simultaneously selling techniques, programmes and getting people to enrol on courses that would not be needed if the scripts worked or served any real purpose (or in some cases telling students that using scripts should be discouraged while publishing a book on them).
There are far too many people writing scripts as money spinners or time fillers, or regurgitating the same scripts over and over again while merely changing key words. Ironically these people have a steady stream of clients who don't realise that they keep coming back because the crap they keep buying doesn't teach them or give them enough in the first place.

Stories and metaphors are incredibly powerful, but the best story tellers have the stories in their heads, not on a piece of paper and regardless of what school of hypnosis you follow be it Elman or Erickson, the eloquence of their words and approaches never depended on a script. I believe that real, positive interactional change work creates the best outcomes and thats because the best stories and the best scripts are the words that make our own lives.

My own experience tells me that scripted work is not the same as change work and as such rarely lasts as long, my experience also tells me that a hypnotist without confidence and using scripts for the bulk of their work needs to re-do training for the sake of their career, the profession and for the wellbeing of their clients. I use to offer scripts as resources, now I train hypnotists that do not need them.

We as a profession need to be mindful how our existing and prospective clients perceive hypnosis. If  'someone who gets you to relax and reads a script' is a popular consensus of what a hypnotist is, then there are a number of fantastic hypnotherapists being done a great disservice by a large number who were never initially trained correctly and are being encouraged to remain ineffective.

Use scripts but please do so with the intention of at least trying to push yourself to grow and develop as a hypnotherapist. Let your script become notes, become bullet points, become an understanding of language and what needs to be conveyed. Listen to your clients, learn how to talk with rather than at the subconscious and study and identify what ultimately works for you.

I became a better hypnotherapist when I went back to basics and retrained to become a better hypnotist. The reason is that done properly hypnosis and hypnotherapy should be simple processes using effective techniques, the success of which are not determined by in-depth knowledge of psychoanalytical theory or ability to source a script, but rather by how confidently and competently they are utilised.

OMNI graduates are taught to push themselves throughout the intense training process because we know half hearted training results in half hearted hypnotists.

If you don't want to be a run of the mill hypnotist - click HERE.

Why Instructor Integrity is so Important in Training

I recently read an interesting piece that was shared by a fellow OMNI Instructor regarding the length of training relative to effectiveness in relation to psychotherapists and counsellors (the link can be found at the bottom of the page) and it struck a chord with me.

I mentioned in the earlier blog this week that there was a disconcerting amount of oversell from some certifying establishments in either the length of their training given or the questionable overlap of the various training programmes that they were offering. 


When deciding the right training schedule it is always difficult striking a fine balance between maximising enrolment numbers and choosing a timetable that will be the most benefit to your students ability to learn.


Having done courses that run over consecutive weeks or weekends, the shorter ones work fine and allow students to work around a timetable, too long however and it is clear that there is a lot of time recapping and regurgitating to the detriment of the material and the chance of everything 'falling into place'.


The Foundation class and especially OMNI training we provide run over continuous days (and long ones at that) because it allows the students to immerse themselves in the training and in hypnosis. Things stay fresh, practical and applicable and though we recap every morning, the desire to learn and take on more and more overrides the need to recap and clarify something that may have been covered five, ten or fifteen weeks before (there should be a study that looks at the correlation between the greater the length of the course and the greater the need for textbooks and hypnosis scripts).


Then there is the danger of instructors that 'pad' the material and syllabus with stuff because the core message and content is a little flimsy, or even worse begin selling you something more or tying you in to the next course or the next part of the jigsaw you need. 

This was a big dilemma for me when writing the Foundation Course, a necessity for anyone wanting an accredited route. I had to protect the integrity of the OMNI material in the advanced certification, but because that material was so good I needed to find content where the students would still walk away from the foundation course feeling like they had made a sound investment. The criteria for choosing what to include in the foundation course ended up being a) is it simple b) is it useful c) does it work and d) can the students use it. The result is actually a course that will want everyone chomping on the bit to use the material as quickly as they can but also equally hungry to learn more and become OMNI hypnotists.


I will be honest, it was a real dilemma for me to decide whether to even pursue the accreditation route at all. On the one hand I think standardisation of a profession that has enough ignorant knockers is a very good thing, on the other hand I think with the OMNI training I have something that in itself will make ethical and competent professionals regardless. Ultimately it came down to the fact that it was most important to me that students have the choice. Having decided that I am very pleased that it inspired me to create a great foundation course and that the three choices they now have ; foundation, OMNI, full combined accreditation all provide value by their own merits.


I think a trainers integrity is so important and that integrity starts and ends in the belief they have themselves in the material that they are providing. I thoroughly understand having more than one tool in your toolkit, so that if your first choice approach doesn't work you are not necessarily left pissing in the wind. From a personal perspective, the more I worried that I needed more tools however, the more the good tools I did have became less effective. When I went back to the approach I enjoyed most and brought me most success, it was reflected immediately in my work with clients. By reestablishing comfort in myself I had done so in my clients too. If you feel doubt in yourself you will project it at some level and many clients or students will be receptive to it.


The article I originally mentioned and which you will hopefully peruse later, proposes that the rapport and interactional relationship in therapy is undervalued and taking this into consideration shorter training can produce as effective results as longer more committed studying. Why would this be? Well i believe too much theory, too much information and too many options relative to practical experience might make walking textbooks of people, but it doesn't necessarily give them integrity and it doesn't nurture rapport (if you don't believe me, go check out any hypnosis forum on social media and quickly spot the unlikeable and abrasive 'scholars' and experts). 


Simply put in the context of therapy training, if the person training you doesn't actually believe the shit they are peddling, there will be plenty of people who wont believe it either (unfortunately there still will be plenty who do). 


When I first became a hypnotherapy instructor, as good as some of the material was I had to use, the stuff I really wanted to I couldn't because I felt uncomfortable that it wasn't my first choice approach in my own practice and there was better out there. So I retrained with OMNI. I found it really disconcerting that I had more knowledge than any prospective student of mine would have so at the convention in the summer I cornered Hansreudi the OMNI CEO (no mean feat if you have ever seen him!) and asked him what were the chances of becoming an OMNI instructor. 


It was important to me that I taught something that I believed in. It is disconcerting to me the sheer number of hypnotherapists who graduate in this country and then hang their success with clients directly on their ability to find a script for the presenting issue. Worse it is even more worrying those who think there is that one single script that acts as a universal band aid for all ills. The most disturbing of all are those that just want to pull your pants down and take your money and if what they give you works - its a bonus because thats marketing for them. 


Don't get me wrong there is nothing bad with having ambitions to become a millionaire through training people and viewing training as a business is a prudent thing to do. But if you are going to be trained by and learn from someone, for heavens sakes pick someone who is teaching you something you can honestly say they are routinely using themselves.

There are some great instructors who teach you what they believe in and what will work, why they believe it and are transparent and humble about the origins of the techniques they are teaching you. People like Melissa Tiers for example, teach you what they think will be useful and what other therapists can start using immediately, in a believable and credible way. I have a lot of respect for Melissa and though we may agree and disagree with each other with respect to our generally preferred approaches to change work and therapy, I know I can still attend one of her workshops and always take something away with me because she's never trying to pull the wool over the eyes of me or anyone else in the room.

It is especially why I have nothing but admiration for the likes of Gerald Kein. Jerry has steadfastly taught the same methods over decades not because he has refused to change, but because he doesn't need to.  He believes in them, because he uses them correctly, he knows they work and he knows when taught to others correctly and used by others confidently will get powerful results. He encourages his students to use the tools and knowledge and practical skills he gives them and develop them, expand upon them, but you are never in any doubt that he has given you all he believes you need to do so and to be getting on with. This confidence is something that he bestows upon his trainers and encourages - no demands that they pass on to their students. If you ever meet Hansreudi his predecessor, this unflinching conviction in the OMNI processes and methodology courses through him just as strongly as his desire to make OMNI the most globally respected name in Hypnosis.


But belief in their own material is only one part of what gives the Jerry, Hans or Melissa's of this world their integrity as trainers. They understand the need to for client 'buy-in' and commitment to the therapy or change work is directly relative to it's success. Again this is something the mentioned article alludes to. They also share an honest simplification and overview of their processes and how they can help people and they have done this by learning from the right people for them and focusing on developing stuff that works ahead of what sells or over-intellectualises. 


Their training programmes are the simplest in many respects, invariably the most easy to use and apply and more often than not, because of their simplicity, the shortest. These are strong prerequisites for successfully selling any product, but in the case of therapy especially so, in instilling confidence and competence in students. 


Which explains why I fully agree with much of what the article proposes. Quantity does not always reflect quality when other elements less quantifiable than classroom hours and textbooks read, are there. 


For me I honestly believe OMNI Hypnosis Training is the best in the world, Melissa's Manhattan based Center for Integrative Hypnosis a strong alternative approach and the students who graduate are amongst the most confident and competent despite the certification programmes they both offer being relatively short. Why? Because the training is taught with integrity and it is as simple as it is believable, with a track record of producing effective therapists, which as the article suggests, translates into successful therapy.


For further reading, here is the article: http://www.acwa.org.au/resources/Practice_Reflexions_Volume_7.pdf

For details on the 2016 OMNI training schedule, click here http://www.omnihypnosis.london

A Need for Clarity

I was looking for some inspiration for a blog and fortunately I was then tagged in to a Facebook post advertising a 'hypnosis' event being held by two of the most recognisable names in hypnosis and NLP and it started me thinking for the rest of the week.
I have a lot of respect for what the pair have achieved professionally and I am sure the event will be a good spectacle for all those in attendance and it certainly seems reasonably priced for a two day event.
One of them in particular has contributed a huge amount to and been complicit in, the evolution of therapy, coaching and change work by being responsible for co-developing an approach that has been embraced across a broad spectrum of disciplines and methods. I myself have trained in it and offer training in it, but not under their tutorship or organisation. I am of course, talking about NLP and two of its most famous proponents - Paul McKenna and NLP co-founder, Richard Bandler.
My friend who tagged me in the post asked me if I would be interested in going to their workshop and I declined, but as mentioned before it wasn't due to a lack of acknowledgement of either of their reputations. I simply have reached the point now where, if a workshop or training programme doesn't compliment my knowledge and skill set, I am quite sure there's a danger it can undermine it, even if just temporarily.

It did however,make me think about their motivations for doing a hypnosis workshop and what that particular workshop in hypnosis could offer therapists and change workers that their Practitioner, Master Practitioner or PM's Havening trainings were not covering already.
Their combined NLP workshops effectively last an entire month and in promoting Havening McKenna claimed 'I can now do in minutes what use to take months'* Months of what? The NLP and Hypnosis being taught, are they not quick or as effective on emotional issues? Are they obsolete? Is it worth learning hypnosis if enrolling on NLP or vice versa, is it worth learning hypnosis at all if havening is the answer to emotional problems and issues of compulsion? You do begin to wonder, so brilliantly and dramatically packaged are their products, as what is what.

Worryingly, it then got me thinking whether I am clear enough myself in differentiating what my own certification classes offer people and why mine weren't mutually exclusive when others appear to be so. As I was thinking about this, I then watched an interview with another established therapist who purports to have many guises; a psychotherapist, a hypnotherapist and more besides and offers certification in all of them. I wondered how the person in question could confidently and honestly differentiate between them all and justify them all individually as equally effective approaches in dealing with exactly the same issues in order to sell their separate and distinct certification classes in 'all of the above'.

At what point does it purely become a money making enterprise, a case of money for old rope and credibility goes out of the window? The helping profession is rife with people who perpetually are reinventing the wheel and packaging up the same stuff under a different name.
Or equally as bad, there are those trying to sell techniques that they have stated they don't even believe in, just because they think theres a few quid to be made in it (a couple of established hypnotherapists immediately spring to mind).
Humans are a cynical species and when someones credibility is lost, to many of us it will remain almost irretrievable. Unfortunately the paradox is that we are also bloody gullible that many will keep going back for more of the same.

I would never dissuade anyone from continuing to learn, and from adding to and developing their own techniques. I've been guilty of being a course junky myself in the past. I would ask people however, to question the merit of contrasting courses being offered by the same source when they seem to be sending confusing and conflicting messages as to what is best and preferable.

I thought it was therefore important to explain the classes I offer, where I think they are distinct from each other and all things being equal and doing away with the bullshit tell you what I think is ultimately best.

So, in reverse order, if I could recommend anything it would be the OMNI Certification class that I teach - it is the best course I have personally done ( I have done more than one hypnotherapy certification and instructor training - like I said I was junky myself!) and I believe it is the best available anywhere. I make no bones about it, if you want to learn how to help people and grow on a personal level of all the training programmes I offer this will give you the greater impact on working with others. If you want to be a therapist it is enough. Certainly go and get other training to add tools and coaching snippets and takeaways for your clients, but you can and will get by with just this qualification. This makes for confident and competent hypnotists and ultimately it is those that will have the most positive effect on their clients.

So why the foundation course? In the UK the professional organisations adhere to occupational standards and you cannot register with them if the training does not meet the learning outcomes and principles of those standards. OMNI was a short course (there is a follow up blog coming about short training programmes and why the work so well), so short despite its quality it couldn't have been accredited. So, needing to add additional classroom hours and extra curricular study to it I wrote a five day foundation course that; a) barely overlapped b) didn't compromise any OMNI material c) was affordable to anyone still on the fence as to whether to commit to a change in career or did not have the resources at that time to invest in OMNI .. and d) gave the attendees the tools and appetite to use and love hypnosis. The foundation course gives them a step towards OMNI accreditation if they want it, or enough in itself to help with issues such as smoking, weight loss and stress. I'll be honest though - I hope its the former.

The NLP classes I offer are designed to give individuals a number of tools to help in their personal and professional lives and, as we see in the hypnotherapy foundation course, a number of usable applications of it to help in change work if needed. When I learnt NLP, I was inspired by and learnt from NLP trainers who simplified it, not over analysed it and I was keen to do the same. But I don't offer it as an alternative to the hypnosis training because the foundation has NLP elements in it and the OMNI training quite frankly is my clear, unreserved change work therapy of choice.

If you want to become a hypnotherapist, do the hypnotherapy training, if you want to become a therapist, do the hypnotherapy training also. If you get in your groove as an OMNI grad between using regression to cause and universal therapy you will have most bases covered. I went back and studied OMNI and subsequently became a trainer, after already being a certified hypnotherapist and trainer because the stuff I was teaching wasn't enough and I couldn't teach what I wanted to. This is and now I can.

That said, if you want to learn how to communicate better and potentially add another string to your bow as a therapist, by all means do the NLP - it goes beyond the waking hypnosis training in the OMNI course. It is a really useful professional tool and the practitioner and master practitioner trainings we offer are five and four days respectively, so you don't get bogged down in an overload of info, you just get the tools you need. Take them and develop them yourself - its the only way you are going to be able to use them in the end!

If you want self empowering tools I do an amazing one day event as well (www.mypersonalgrowth.uk) that everyone can take something from, but it's not a qualification it is a day long workshop that will help you in your life.

The separate workshops are generally speaking, sections of the above one day programme.

In conclusion, I hope I have made it clear and been honest in what I teach and why I teach it. My ambition is to graduate thousands upon thousands of OMNI students, because I not only will I know I have a successful business model, everyday I will have the pleasure of teaching something that I really believe in and know will create real hypnotherapists (rather than just make me the money).
If I can use my experiences, training and NLP to further peoples personal and professional relationships and successes then that is going to be one fantastic bonus.

N.B. Please do read the follow up blog about the training programmes that work so well as it continues much of what was being discussed here.

In light of the tragic events that unfolded a few days ago, I hope you all keep well and safe and are making every day count.

* Psychology Today - click here

Gerald Kein, Nick Ebdon and OMNI Hypnosis Training Center® London

We now have a complete training timetable for the OMNI Basic-Advanced Certification classes available in the UK in 2016. We will be including Brighton and a venue that will be accessible to those living in the Midlands/North of England so that no one misses out on this great opportunity.



We have also been working very hard to incorporate the best training curriculum in the world into a broader programme so that our UK students can still benefit from UK professional accreditation if they so wish it. As a result, it is with great pleasure that I can announce that a combined Foundation / OMNI Certification has been accredited at Full Practitioner Level by the General Hypnotherapy Standards Council - giving our students not only the best hypnosis qualification in the world, but now for the first time the chance to take it and get professional membership with organisations such as the General Hypnotherapy Register and the government back Complementary and Natural Healthcare Council.



To view our complete training timetable and the cost of our classes click HERE.



Remember, the OMNI Hypnosis Basic-Advanced has gained global recognition by itself as a quality hypnosis qualification, but if you decide to opt for UK accreditation as well - by booking both you can save £300!



Lastly, if you have any reservations about the quality and calibre of the trainer, let the man himself and the founder of OMNI, Jerry Kein set your mind at rest in this short video.

The importance of commitment

Sep 15, 2015 

I deal with an incredibly broad spectrum of people - ranging from executives and CEO's who come to me for coaching, stress management or often both, to helping someone lose weight or overcome their fear of spiders. Whoever the client and whatever their presenting issue is, there is always two things I ask of all of them; trust and commitment. 

Trust that they both trust in me and in the process and commitment that they will do their part in being successful. It may come as a surprise how many people attend a session with doubts and low expectations of success (often because hypnotherapy has been the last port of call - the last in a number of attempts to overcome the issue unfortunately) and it's my job to genuinely convince them otherwise. The reason the likes of myself and other successful therapists and coaches generally do not guarantee a clients success is because we cannot completely control the level of commitment a client is prepared to give to the process. 

Client commitment can range from simply accepting suggestions, being honest, adopting a mindset, completing a journal or exercises between sessions, to making specific lifestyle or behavioural adjustments.

If we perceive resistance or an attempt of refutation from the client in the office or therapy room we can often challenge or address it there and then and explore their reasons why.

But I also consider a lack of commitment to be a multi-faceted thing. A client may lack commitment because of one or many of the aforementioned reasons, they may lack commitment because they either personally think they know best (see above) or are dissuaded from doing what has been asked by others. Another instance may be when a client may prioritise the needs of others ahead of their own, both genuinely or as a reason not to follow through, often when a secondary gain is at play and there is an inner resistance to what is being asked of the client. 

Secondary gain is an obstacle that all therapists and coaches will encounter. Having an issue or ‘their’ issue can often fulfil a clients primary human needs and they will both consciously and subconsciously resist change if it is perceived as a challenge to that need being met. Some will dismiss change completely if they see it as a threat to an identity they have created. 

Let us explore a few of the situations where client commitment may be an issue.

Case One. A client comes to you having previously seen one or multiple counsellors and therapists. They dismiss these previous encounters as ineffective and often then give their reasons why; the therapist was no good, the setting was no good, they know whats wrong with themselves more than the therapist, the work they gave them to do was pointless, external elements interfered etc., etc. Now some of these reasons may or may not be valid and at that stage one cannot make too many assumptions, but more digging is needed to find out why.

We can ask them to expand on what they felt went wrong, what the work had entailed and so on and very soon you will get a clear picture of the client’s model of the world and their beliefs, from which you can then begin to assume more. A client may have subconsciously resisted not because their previous coach or counsellor was bad, but because they were actually good. Subconsciously we are programmed to gravitate towards and seek familiarity (even in unhealthy places) and sometimes good work can take a client temporarily out of their comfort zone. At this point a client may refuse to commit further. 

Case Two. A client comes to you and tells you what is wrong with them. During the consultation you may suggest alternatives or offer up solutions and you notice a shift in a clients demeanour. Some do genuinely take exception if you haven’t empathised enough or imply that their problem can be resolved with relative ease. They will see it as a form of challenge to them, they may feel undermined. What happens in that session and any subsequent sessions (there may not be!) will then be correlated to how much they will allow themselves to commit. 

Case Three.  A receptive client has a good session and is engaged and committed when they leave you. However outside of the office or therapy room other ‘players’ in their life exert their needs on the client or undermine them to the extent that they either forego the time and commitment they intended to set aside for things such as keeping journals, self hypnosis etc., or they self sabotage and do not follow through.

These are just a few examples of situations a therapist or coach will encounter. They will also encounter multiple variants and deviations of the above where a client potentially will not commit unless handled correctly. 

So what should one do in this case?

There are three steps to follow as the coach or therapist to maximise the chance of getting that much needed commitment (in my courseswe break these three down into further subsets). For the coach, counsellor or hypnotherapist at the top of their game experience and reputation alone can sometimes mean achieving these steps and getting that commitment is almost a foregone conclusion. 

These steps are; getting rapport, understanding the clients world and contracting with them.

Getting rapport is a prerequisite to any working relationship. Some people find it easier than others, but the emergence of NLP and the development of social psychology in the last few decades means we understand it’s importance and the ways in which we can achieve it, much more. I teach workshops to individuals and companies on this subject alone, but the cornerstones of rapport for me in this context are empathy and communication.

Rapport is both used as leveraged and naturally increased when we introduce stage two - the broadening of our understanding of the clients world. We need to ask enough questions to have so that we can appreciate (not agree with) the clients belief and values, how they see themselves and the identity they give themselves and others, who those significant others are, how they relate and communicate with them, what their needs are, what they are doing to fulfil those needs, what they are doing to prevent themselves from fulfilling other needs, their representational systems and the limitations to those systems. Taking it further, what they want to achieve, what they have or don’t have to achieve it and what are all of the elements; beliefs, people, situations, circumstances, emotions, ways of thinking that will help or hinder them achieving their goal.

Lastly, with rapport established and a clear map of that persons world now available to us, then we can get the contract of commitment. This contract will take into consideration the obstacles that we have identified, the resources we have identified and the level of rapport that has been established in doing so (how many times will a good operator hear the words to the effect of ‘I can’t believe I just told you that’ etc.). You are then in a position to say to the client - “taking A,B,C and D into consideration and knowing E,F and G, if you commit to X ,Y and Z there is nothing to stop you achieving your goal”. Any hesitation at this stage generally means you have to go back over steps one and two.

As mentioned before you could write a book purely on building rapport, or eliciting information from people and indeed there are a numerous already available on these subjects. I teach both workshops and certification classes on the importance of both. 

The point is if you want to get a commitment and want to maximise your success, thirty minutes of consulting and asking the right questions will make all the difference in securing a positive commitment from your client and more positive testimonials and referrals for your practice.

Lastly, do not be afraid to place the responsibility back on the client if you have done everything to uphold your side of the working relationship but they have failed to commit or still encounter resistance. By all means explore the resistance or objections, but do not waste time pursuing things up a blind alley. 

I am comfortable in either postponing or bringing proceedings to a halt if the client has the wrong attitude or mindset. Success should be just as important to the therapist as it is to the client and the commitment is there that success is likely to follow for both of you.